How Not To Come Off Sales-y

In the world of business, integrity and genuine connections are the foundation of lasting success. Clients and colleagues can spot insincerity from a mile away, and no one wants to feel like just another name on a sales target list. Relationships, much like any other worthwhile pursuit, take time and effort to align. People have different interests, communication styles, and priorities, so building trust requires patience and authenticity.

We’ve all encountered that one friend or colleague who can’t seem to switch off their “pitch mode,” even in casual settings. Picture this: you’re at a work conference. It’s 1 a.m., and you’re at the hotel bar. People are unwinding after a long day of meetings, presentations, and power lunches. Amid the relaxed chatter and clinking glasses, someone dives into a hard pitch about their product. It’s clear they’re passionate—and maybe a little too eager—but instead of engaging, their audience stiffens, gives one-word answers, or finds excuses to leave the conversation.

This kind of enthusiasm, while admirable, can backfire if it’s not tempered with emotional intelligence. Reading the tone and body language of the person you’re talking to is critical. Are they leaning into the conversation or looking at their watch? Are they asking follow-up questions or just nodding politely? If the latter, it’s time to step back and recalibrate.

The truth is, no one wants to feel like they’re being “hooked.” Think of it like fishing: if you yank the line too eagerly, the fish gets away. Instead, focus on building rapport first. Listen more than you talk, and keep your mentions of what you do concise—think 15 seconds or less. The goal is to pique curiosity, not overwhelm.

Building relationships isn’t about making every moment a sales opportunity; it’s about connecting with people in meaningful ways. By showing genuine interest in others, respecting their time and energy, and knowing when to shift gears, you’ll foster connections built on trust and authenticity. That’s what keeps people coming back—not the pitch, but the person behind it.